A look behind the scenes of Sucker Punch...
by Luke Jones
INT: WARNER BROS. HEADQUARTERS - SOME TIME IN 2010
A generic office room. A WARNER BROS. EXECUTIVE sits behind a mahogany desk. In front of him ZACK SNYDER is in the process of pitching his latest blockbuster movie, ‘SUCKER PUNCH’...
ZACK SNYDER
... and then right at the end we close with a cover of Roxy Music’s Love is the Drug. It’ll be great because it’s going to be like that CHICAGO film, and that won an Oscar!
WARNER BROS. EXECUTIVE
Well this sounds fan-tas-tic Zack. Now I’ve got a multi-million dollar cheque on my desk that I’ve already started signing, but can I ask you a few questions while I write?
ZS
Shoot.
WBE
Great. So you’ve got girls dressed in sexy outfits...
ZS
Yep.
WBE
...running around being all bad-ass and stuff.
ZS
You bet.
WBE
Slow motion action?
ZS
Wouldn’t have it any other way.
WBE
Now the main sexy girl is trapped in a mean old asylum, and she’s gotta break out?
ZS
It’ll be just like ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST and everyone loved that.
WBE
Good call Snyder, but isn’t that a bit depressing?
ZS
No sir, because she goes crazy and makes a whole new world in her mind to escape the horror of her situation.
WBE
So these kick-ass action scenes you mentioned..?
ZS
...all take place in her mind, so we don’t have to worry about annoyances like the laws of physics or making sure the CGI is realistic. Keeps the cost down sir.
WBE
Music to my ears Zack. It’ll be just like INCEPTION and everyone loved that. But what are these dance sequences you’re talking about?
ZS
Not dance sequences sir, levels. It’s what the kids play on their videogames. You play a level (makes quote marks with fingers), kill lots of bad guys so you can fight the boss at the end and win something.
WBE
Oh yes, the things. Talk me through them again Snyder.
ZS
Well to escape the main sexy girl needs to get five things: a map, a lighter, a knife and a key.
WBE
Well that’s four things Snyder, what’s the fifth?
ZS
Ah, that’s a secret sir, to keep people awake while they’re waiting for us to get through the first four things.
WBE
Is it a car?
ZS
No sir.
WBE
Escape boat?
ZS
They’re not by a river.
WBE
Helicopter?
ZS
(silence)
WBE
Well how do they get out of the bloody place?
ZS
They catch the bus sir.
WBE
The bus?
ZS
Yes sir.
WBE
Could we have a helicopter instead? People like helicopters.
ZS
We already have a helicopter in the Lord of the Rings-y level.
WBE
Oh yes, hard to keep track. But what’s this about using cover songs for the soundtrack? Sounds like an expensive business Snyder.
ZS
Yes, but it’ll be just like MOULIN ROUGE and everyone loved that. Plus if we turn the music up really loud, we can make people forget that the bits in between the levels are a bit dull.
WBE
Dull Snyder? Couldn’t we liven those bits up with some three-dimensional characters so we can give the audience a reason to care about them during the levels?
ZS
(pause)
We have a big ninja with a gattling gun.
WBE
It’s a guaranteed hit Snyder, I’ll send the cheque in the post. By the way, what do you think about men in tights?
ZS
I’ll try anything once sir.
WBE
Excellent Snyder. Grab that SUPERMAN script on the way out. It’s going to be just like BATMAN BEGINS, and everyone loved that.
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